Team Apocalypto - Manifesto 2010

We're Ready! Are You?

Team Apocalypto Manifesto (2010)

Annual Writing Contest

Please note that the Team Apocalypto website is run by one, single, lonesome volunteer, who does not have time to answer emails and deal with memberships. If you have to get in touch with us, try membership @ teamapocalypto.com - it gets checked the most often (approximately 4x per year).

Membership is totally at will. If you want to start a cell, just do it. Fill out our membership form if you want a membership kit and that's it - congratulations, you're a member.

A membership kit consists of an official Team Apocalypto Membership Certificate and a printed copy of the Team Apocalypto Manifesto.

Alternatively, if you're starting a group, you can send a list of members' names and one mailing address to MEMBERSHIP @ teamapocalypto.com, and we'll send you membership certificates for everybody in your cell to one location.

We will try to get organized every few months, and send out membership kits to those who request them. Don't be surprised if it takes us a loooooong time to get back to you. But that shouldn't matter! You're supposed to be self-sufficient Zombie fighters: independent, competent, and much too tough to worry about little namby panby things like membership kits.

If you don't want a membership kit, all you have to do is start meeting up with friends and training for the coming Zombie Apocalypse, and voila, you're entitled to call yourselves Team Apocalypto members.

The whole point of Team Apocalypto is to get small groups of normal people together, to train for the coming Zombie Apocalypse on their own initiative.

TEAM APOCALYPTO MANIFESTO 2010 (.pdf file)

In the TeamApocalyptoManifesto.pdf are gems like these:

A cell is a small group of between four and seven individuals who have mutually agreed to a few basic principles and foregone conclusions that form the foundation of the Team Apocalypto manifesto.

You are ready for Team Apocalypto membership if you can unequivocally agree with the following statements:

1. Zombies are bad.

2. I like my brains where they are and in the condition to which I have become accustomed.

3. During the coming Zombie Apocalypse, I want to kick ass and take names.

4. I am ready, willing, and able to get off my butt and prepare NOW for the coming Zombie Apocalypse.

Please don't do anything stupid or illegal and blame your bad behavior on Zombie preparedness training - that would be rude, and it will earn you respect and admiration from nobody.

Cheers,

Team Apocalypto

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License .